10 Ways to Raise Children to USE Drugs
By Leah Davies, M.Ed.
- Obey their demands. Give in to their tantrums. Deny
them nothing. If they want it, indulge them. Make sure they know you
will always be there to get them out of trouble. If they break a toy
or wreck a car, replace it.
- Overlook, defend, or rescue them from the consequences
of their negative behavior. Accept their excuses or blame others by
saying things such as, "My child would never do that!",
"It can't be her fault; it must be the school's fault!",
or "The other child made him do it."
- Disregard moral principles. Be dishonest. Involve
your children in lying or cheating others and taking pleasure in the
misfortune of others. Encourage insecurity by telling them to keep
secrets from other family members or family secrets from others.
- Avoid touching, hugging, and taking time to interact
with your children. Deny the existence of their emotional and social
needs. Discourage them from expressing feelings and isolate them from
friends, organizations, and activities. Disregard their physical needs.
- Ignore their worthwhile and constructive habits.
Avoid complimenting or praising their efforts. When they have done
something well, make fun of it. Belittle their ideas, interests, and
accomplishments. Dwell on their weaknesses. Expect them to fail. Express
hopelessness in their ability to succeed or to cope positively with
- Pretend you never make mistakes or have problems.
Expect perfection from your children. Judge them harshly if they make
a mistake or misbehave. Never forgive, but instead hurt and degrade
them by yelling, blaming, shaming, whipping, humiliating, or threatening
to abandon them.
- Establish and enforce tough, rigid rules. Discourage
thought and questions by demanding that they do what you want, when
you want it done. Never help them think of ways to work through their
own problems. Demonstrate your distrust of them by questioning everything
they do, and discount their right to privacy and independence as they
- Keep children constantly on guard by being unpredictable.
Become angry at an action one day and laugh at it the next. Avoid
any kind of routine. Let them decide when to eat and sleep. Allow
them to watch television continually without your supervision or guidance.
Avoid traditions. Rarely eat dinner as a family. Treat them differently.
Have a "favorite" child who can do no wrong and a "bad"
child who can do no right.
- Remain uninformed about drugs and drug use. If you
smoke, drink alcohol excessively, or use other drugs, make excuses
and deny your own use. Never discuss your attitudes or feelings about
drugs. Disregard the facts concerning the negative effects drugs have
on the mind and body.
- Above all else, discount your own value as a human
being. Communicate anger and resentment toward life. Engage in self-indulgent,
Used by permission of the author,
Leah Davies, and selected from the Kelly Bear website [www.kellybear.com]
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